Tuesday, March 17, 2015

A Sunday Tailored for Me.

Warning: This is a little deeper than I usually let people know about me.  I try to keep this blog fun and happy.  But I have been really feeling I need to share this.  Not sure why.  So if you don't want to know the nitty gritty and my not uplifting side, don't continue.
Sunday was fabulous.  I had kinda had a down weekend.  I get so frustrated with what Cora has to put up with in high school.  She found out that two of the girls she kinda hangs out with because of basketball had decided to start dating each other.  Wanted to give it a try.  She gets asked everyday about being a Mormon.  Most are really good and really just fascinated by how strange it all seems to them.  But some are not.  And some aren't kind. She will ask me what to say to their questions and I have no idea.  No idea at all!  We keep praying for guidance and trying to listen. I'm new at this also.  She handles it well.  Saturday I was really wishing that I could go back to when my biggest concern was teaching them to crawl down stairs or even potty train. That should tell you how frustrated I was. :) The guy that was supposed to start on our house didn't come and it was forecast that snow was coming once again.  Which means again work is halted.  The animals around here where missing their playmates and as a result came and bugged us.  Pooped on the lawn, jumped on us with dirty paws. We had tried to have a picnic and had to come back in with our food so we didn't get jumped on.  I was a little stressed taking care of them.  Everyone knows I hate cats and dogs, but if something happens on your watch it is even worse since I am not able to lovingly take care of them.  The kids did great and had always fed them before I even asked everyday.  Blake and Leah had really, really been at each other all day.  Friday I found myself sitting in bed at night silently crying.  Again over breakfast and later as I was vacuuming the floor I had tears streaming down my face, not really knowing why, since I am not a crier.  Dave finally made me sit down and talk to him.  It was actually very strange for me.  I honestly rarely cry.  He was a great listener.  Then that evening we just spent time together, the kids helped make dinner.  We all watched a movie.  The kids could see I was as Blake says 'so sad' and started to be nice to one another.  Sunday morning I felt more at peace again.  Dave had worked hard on his talk, and had gone off to his assigned ward.  Leah was prepared for her talk.  Although she did freak a little when she found out that she was speaking with the stake president.  Then a member of the bishopric called an hour before church to remind her she was speaking.  We laughed at that.  Cora said that if she had not remembered, it would have been the worst phone call ever.  Church was just what I needed.  Great lessons and all great talks in Sacrament meeting.  We had chicken stir fry for lunch and again watched a movie.  I guess movies are how I decompress.  Then we where off to a stake fireside.  Such an amazing fireside.  The speaker was a friend of mine from high school and now teaches my nieces seminary.  He did a fabulous, fabulous job.  He spoke on family history.  I was a little frustrated again wondering why so many parents don't attend these firesides with their kids.  I know some have to work and some have youngers at home that one needs to stay with, but the stake president has asked you to attend.  And it is so much more than a fireside.  I look forward to spending that time in a car, away from phones and tablets.  The kids talk to you, without distraction.  You get to listen to the messages that are just for them and to discuss it after with them.  You get to see how they react to these messages and how they interact with the youth around them.  You can learn a lot by silent observation of them being taught gospel principles.  Why would you not move heaven and earth to be there to have your child come to that haven outside all the crap from school.  Even if just for a few moments.  It is exhausting to constantly be aware and watching the world your kids are in.  That is when I feel relaxed about it.  Youth firesides, youth conference, temple baptisms.  Anyways on the way home, even tho the weather was horrible, the snow had come, I felt better.  The speakers in church and the fireside where just what I needed.  We travelled very slow home.  We talked, the kids sang and once again I felt ready to face the week ahead.  I felt that I could continue on. After drama yesterday Cora said that the drama teacher was a little upset with her.  When Cora had seen her costume it was a tank top and really short skirt.  She explained that she couldn't wear that.  Teacher was not happy, but Cora didn't give in.  I was proud of her.  We can do this.  I will have many more frustrating days.  But Dave and my Father in Heaven are there to help. And I have great examples in Nicole and Kita, with how they have already made it through this.  And my parents taught me correct principle and where to go for help.  Just keep swimming right??!!? :)

4 comments:

  1. Being a parent is soooo hard! I'd much rather go through difficult trials than watch my children go through them. I know the toughest is yet to come for us. You are certainly not alone in not knowing all the answers. But you are right, we know where to go to get them. You and Dave are doing an awesome job. Love you guys, and your fabulous kids!

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  2. Love you Char! It is hard to be a parent. I so appreciate all the advice I get as I raise my kids. It is nice to have help from people who have been there. There are way more challenges for our kids now then there was when I was a teenager. Cora is so strong and awesome!! You are raising wonderful kids that are such great examples for my little ones!!

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  3. Char, I am totally with you and my kids are still young!! I am struggling so much with Emry's attitude...she always seems to be snippy with me. And I look at calum and his rambunctious behaviour makes me believe he will be some kind of hooligan when he's older and it terrifies me that he'll leave the church. I know what I need to do to teach our children but I don't know how, I'm always tired and find I sit and watch shows with them more than I teach them anything :(

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  4. Ok I need to say that I don't know why you don't go deep like this more often. I need to hear all that you wrote. There must be something going on in the world that our spirits are picking up on or something, cause I have been feeling down myself lately, more then normal. I was so glade you wrote this. When I here others who go through what sound familiar to my life it make me feel better. Know I know that I don't have teenagers yet, and all isn't the same, but I feel ya. I wish I was able to better express what a strong note this hit with me. Thanks again, and again.

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